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shiro

What my mind is currently stuck on. What's with the assumptions?

Am I a weirdo?

The other day a coworker was telling me about his previous relationships. When he asked me about my love life and I told him it was non-existent his first comment was that he found that surprising, which I suppose was a compliment, but I didn't say anything and don't want to focus on that now. Next thing, he asked me if this was because I hadn't found the right guy yet. Or had the right guy not found me? This is what really got me.

I don't suppose many people would think twice about it, but this isn't the first time someone has asked me something along these lines. I've been asked by handfuls of people if I have a boyfriend. Obviously this isn't meant to harm anyone, it's usually just small talk, but it does bother me. I would say it offends me, but I don't think that's quite the right word.

Getting to the point, the reason it bothers me is the fact that these people are making a pretty strong assumption that I must be heterosexual. I honestly can't remember the last time a person asked me if I might have a girlfriend, if ever. While I truly believe that society in general is becoming more accepting and, in many cases, more supportive of different sexual orientations, I still think we're stuck in the past with placing every individual into the category of "heterosexual" unless anything is offered to prove otherwise. While not a fatal assumption, it still bothers me that our culture (and when I say this, I speak for the general culture of North America, particularly that of Canada and the United States) can pass such judgements so freely without giving it a second thought. I've never had a single friend ask me if I, in fact, wasn't attracted to boys.

So as proof of my constant consciousness of this, I'd like to add that, because of personal experiences, when I see a heterosexual couple, particularly if they're older (from the days when homosexuality, in particular, was taboo), I often wonder if both individuals are truly heterosexual and if they really are attracted to each other. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever know about some people. Honestly, in my humble opinion, most people seem to assume that the majority of human beings are heterosexual and the LGBTA community is in the minority. I strongly disagree with this. Yes, for as long as I can think back in history, heterosexuality has been the most present and acceptable sexual orientation, but some people are very good at acting. It is true that the majority of people seem to be named (by themselves or others) as heterosexual, but think of just how many people have been coming out in recent decades. There isn't some disease that's increasing the size of the LGBTA community, people are just becoming more comfortable with their true feelings being known.

Just as a side note, I'm not saying any of these things because I'm some lesbian raging about heterosexuality. I truly hate to be assigned a name. In this case, I really dislike being automatically taken for a heterosexual when I, myself, have been questioning my sexual orientation for the past few years. If anyone could decide, it would be me. In fact, I wonder just how many people even consider the possiblity that I just may not be sexually attracted to anyone...

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